all of us
can you feel it?
can you see it?
look at their broken faces
of our childhood’s shoe’s laces
parted from the fun
no longer free to run in the sun
you see, control is but a fiction,
that no perfect diction
could ever solve the friction between your pride and my emptiness
look inside you
and glimpse the ugliness within
so hideous even the devil might not grin
at your endless sin
covered up by skin
a perfect lie,
that no one ever sees
but everyone really knows
striving to “do what’s right”
and stay in the light
but beneath all the words,
all the smiles
all the trials
and all the files I’ve got on myself to record every loss and every failure
this all is just a movie trailer
of the coming end
that is most all humanity’s trend
to live and die and be lost
so one night, as I drove, I drifted off the road
when I opened my eyes
and saw beyond the guise and lies,
I saw a world around me, unfamiliar
and agreement, conciliar
that this light was too bright
the glory shining all around
my internal lack so profound
as I saw the foot of the great and glorious throne of God
I felt my heart pounding within my chest
and upon my knees I was downward pressed
only to look and see His hand pointing left…
but then my own voice echoed in my ears
saying something that I’d heard somewhere
but I didn’t ever dare
enough about those words for me
to see that I bent the knee… before
through this door
and now here I was at last
all hope for me, past:
saying, “Lord, Lord have I not prophesied in Your name?
Have I not taken many demons from the game?
Have I ever laid claim to Your fame?
And by these miracles have I not won You greater acclaim?”
but then the silence
my heart pleading
but as He spoke,
in agony my soul broke
and I could feel myself choke
“Like a branch cut from the Tree,
depart from Me,
you worker of iniquity
for I never knew you.”
Dear Father in heaven, no!
I cannot bear this blow!
Was then my life naught but a show?
as my strangled cries broke forth from my throat
I knew I was not among the sheep but instead a goat
who could not and would not stay afloat
in this coming bath
of the Almighty’s wrath!
how could this be?!
I was so sure I could see!
had I not done all He said to do?
was I not first in and last out of the pew?
and of Bible verses more than most knew?
and yet somehow all this and more was not enough
this time no salvation would be found in a bluff
as I descended down
with a broken crown
and bloody gown
in Hell’s own flame and fire
my own soul’s eternal funeral pyre
I shouted out to Gabriel looking down from above
for the sake of all those I once did love
take back this, my story of woe
that this dark abyss, the world might not know
so, oh to you who call yourself Christian
- don’t ever let one momentary prayer, decision or intuition
be the one condition you use to tell yourself
that your spiritual position is not a fiction
for only by true repentance
and a heart, utterly submitted
to the Author of all creation
and His whole Word can you be admitted
into the “heaven” you were raised to expect
but is in no sense a certainty,
for of that I know I am correct.